380: When You're the Dysregulated One, with Penny Williams

Some mornings, the most dysregulated person in the room isn't your child. It's you. And that doesn't make you a bad parent. It makes you human, with a nervous system that's been hypervigilant for a long time.

In this episode on nervous system regulation for parents of neurodivergent kids, I'm getting honest about my own history as a yeller. When my son was little, I raised my voice to break through his non-stop energy and get us out the door. What I didn't know then was that I was co-escalating with him, two dysregulated nervous systems pulling each other further into the fire.

We talk about why co-escalation is the flip side of co-regulation, and why it drains your battery so fast. I share how to apply the same behavior-as-communication lens you use for your child to yourself, so yelling or shutting down becomes a signal of what you need, not proof of a character flaw. You'll hear the body cues and triggers to watch for, a simple breath you can use in the hardest moments, and the words I use to explain the science of a dysregulated "bodyguard" to kids so you can both take a break.

We also dig into repair, why it matters more than perfection, and what it can sound like after you've said things you wish you hadn't. And we get proactive, with small daily glimmers that help fill your own battery in as little as three to five minutes a day.

If you've ever lost it with your child and then spent the rest of the day in shame, this episode is for you. You matter too.

Listen to the full episode now.

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Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/380

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You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com. It's not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.