Sexless Marriage - The Only Time She Wants Me Is When She Wants a Baby

A guy wrote to me last week with something he says he's never told another human being.

Fourteen months without sex. He stopped asking back in February, not as a strategy, just because he got tired of the way she goes still instead of saying no. Then last Tuesday his wife brought up having a third baby.

And here's the part he can't say out loud to anybody: when they were trying for their two boys, the bedroom came alive. Both times. Sex all the time, for months. And both times, about three months after the baby came, it went right back off.

So he's sitting there knowing exactly how the next two years go if he says yes. And knowing that if he says no, he's the villain who won't have a child with his own wife.

His bedroom isn't dead. It's conditional. That's a different problem and almost nobody talks about it.

In this one we get into why the switch only flips for a project, what she's actually reaching for when she asks (it's more generous than you think, and it still doesn't work), why saying yes to buy affection is the most expensive covert contract a man can sign, and the exact conversation to have instead. Including the three ways men blow this conversation, one of which you're probably already planning.

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