41. PDA and Low-Demand Parenting: When the Demands Don't Disappear, They Land on You

Have you ever done everything right — dropped the demand, softened the ask, delivered it the one way that works — walked out of the room for two minutes, and come back to a child on the floor who won't get up for an hour because someone else said it wrong? Have you ever quietly decided it's easier to just do all of it yourself, every time, than risk the fallout of handing it over?

Low-demand parenting has saved families. Nobody talks about where the demand actually goes when it drops off the child. Rachel Few came on to say the thing she's watching happen in her clinic and nowhere else — that it lands on the mum, and she's already carrying more than anyone can see.

RESOURCES & REFERENCES

Free Resources

Energy Accounting Guide — for finding where your limit actually is when you've been running on empty — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/

Household Family Meeting Template — for the 'why does all the communication land on me' default-parent dynamic — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-household-family-meeting-template/

Paid Resources

Meltdown & Shutdown Guide — a printed, posted guide for the meltdowns and shutdowns Rachel maps through this episode — https://adhdmums.com.au/product/navigating-meltdowns-strategies-for-parents/

ADHD Mums Shop — https://adhdmums.com.au/shop/

Related Episodes

Is PDA Real and What Can We Do About It? — with Michelle Garnett — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-30-could-it-be-pda-exploring-the-signs-and-why-its-different-from-odd/

Meltdowns — with Tania Waring — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-31-meltdowns-with-tania-waring/