Pick a Country, Any Country (Spoiler: It’s South Africa)

We’re playing a game: guess which country nearly every single refugee Trump has let in this year came from. You already know it’s South Africa, because we told you in the title. Meanwhile, the “most vulnerable people on Earth” are apparently all white and from one place. Something ain’t right.

Then Iran is threatening to cut the Hormuz internet cables. That’s the same Iran conflict Trump and Netanyahu started and have shown zero interest in de-escalating. Those cables could shake global systems and financial markets, and we’re sure those same two geniuses have a plan. (We checked. They don’t.)

England’s central bank is now warning about AI-powered cyberattacks, which is the most polite way a bank has ever said “we’re all doomed.”

And France’s protests spiraled after the police “lost control.” We get into how that happens and why the people holding the batons are always so surprised.

Grab a snack and a stiff drink. We’re going to need both.

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