How to master difficult conversations at work, with Tim Duggan

Around 80% of us will avoid conflict if given the chance, and Tim Duggan was firmly in that camp.

In this episode, I sit down with Tim, author of Clear In Tension: How to Get Better at Conflict, to explore how we can all handle conflict with more skill and less dread. Tim spent 15 years running the media company Junkie Media, mediating other people’s disputes, all while dreading conflict himself.

We walk through his five-step CLEAR framework, two listening techniques you can use in your very next tough conversation, and what the four symbols tattooed on Amanda Knox’s arm can teach us about finding common ground with anyone. We also talk about why some conflicts will never be solved, and why that is okay.

If you have a hard conversation looming, this episode will leave you feeling calmer and far better prepared.

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Tim and I discuss:

What Tim learned from becoming an accredited mediator, and why the only way to get comfortable with conflict is to practise it Box breathing as a discreet way to calm your nervous system mid-argument The CLEAR framework: clarify what matters, listen generously, explore what’s underneath, align on a shared direction, and reset your story Mirroring and looping, two simple listening techniques that make the other person feel genuinely heard The difference between positions and interests, and why uncovering someone’s hopes, fears and concerns can solve the problem The four symbols Amanda Knox has tattooed on her arm as her recipe for a difficult conversation Why “agree to disagree” is not a failure, and when walking away is the healthiest option How to rehearse your first line before delivering bad news, a tip I used myself when I had to let people go in 2024 The research on conflict avoiders, the Gottmans’ ratio of positive to negative interactions, and the one word that changes the tone of any disagreement Key quotes

“The best stuff happens in tension.”

“Sometimes walking away is actually the best thing you can do.”

Connect with Tim Duggan on Instagram, X (Twitter), and LinkedIn and his website. Check out his latest book Clear In Tension: How to Get Better at Conflict.

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