Jealousy is a Tool with Ally Iseman

“Jealousy is showing us what's important to us, maybe a core need that's not being met.”

–Ally Iseman

What’s your relationship to jealousy? We’re often shamed for it or try to avoid it, but Ally Iseman, a Certified Relationship Coach, says jealousy is an emotion, a tool, and something that can show us what’s important to us.

It’s a lot easier to talk about jealousy when you aren’t triggered, and Ally shares her jealousy GROWTH method: ground, reflect, open, witness, timeout, and humanize. We dig into what each step looks like and why it’s important.

We talk about:

four main kinds of jealousy in romantic relationships: possessiveness, comparison or competition, fear of abandonment, and distrust. The difference between envy and jealousyShame, blame, and avoidance when it comes to jealousyHow helpful it is to have someone holding the container for couples navigating jealousyJournaling to jealousy or your partner or yourselfCuriosity as a way in to talking about jealousy

ABOUT ALLY

Ally Iseman, CRC is an award-winning creator, author, internationally Certified Relationship Coach, and NCSF-registered Kink Aware Professional specializing in modern relationship design, unlocking erotic jealousy, and consent and communication.

She is the founder of Passport 2 Pleasure, curated travel groups for couples who want to have the conversations they can’t have anywhere else.

Ally speaks on stages and screens of all sizes and is a featured culture commentator and subject matter expert. She has been featured in The New York Times, LADbible, Cosmopolitan, AskMen, and more.

Ally works with couples and individuals around the world who are at transition points in their dating and relationships. Whether they want to open their relationship to include more people, explore play parties together, or simply communicate more authentically about their kinks and curiosities, Ally helps them open up without breaking up.

Ally is based in Los Angeles and London.