Episode 397: Breaking the Silence of Childhood Trauma and Addiction with Rich Dunning

Content note: This episode includes discussion of childhood abuse, domestic violence, and a suicidal crisis. If you’re struggling, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). It’s free, confidential, and available 24/7.For so many of us, staying quiet was how we survived. When a childhood is shaped by violence, abuse, and chaos, silence becomes a kind of armor. And that armor often follows us into adulthood, into our marriages, our careers, and our drinking.In this episode I sit down with Rich Dunning, a medical device executive, father, husband of 32 years, and author of Silence Was My First Language. Rich grew up in the Bronx surrounded by abuse, alcoholism, hunger, and periods of homelessness. He became, in his words, a father at 10 years old, caring for his siblings when no one else would. That survival instinct carried him a long way, into a successful 28-year career and a family he loved. But the pain underneath never left, and alcohol became the way he quieted it.Rich talks about how outward success hid a deep sense of shame, and how losing his brother and his job cracked everything open. He also shares the morning his story nearly ended, and the moment his son’s voice called him back. That was his day one. Rich is now more than nine years sober, and in recovery he found a new language. He chose to publish his story so a child or teen might get help sooner than he did.It’s a heavy conversation. But Rich’s story is a powerful reminder that childhood trauma and addiction don’t get the last word.In This EpisodeGrowing up in the Bronx, and how silence became Rich’s first languageThe counselor who saw right through him and suggested he write down his memoriesTwo fractures: the death of his 20-year-old brother and losing the job that defined himBeing called a “dog” as a child, and the imposter feelings that followed him into his careerParanoia, isolation, and the made-up backstory he used to hide where he came fromThe unraveling: blackouts, hidden bottles, failed rehabs, and trying to control everythingRock bottom, surrender, and day one of recoveryWhy he wrote the book like a novel, and why abuse awareness still mattersFinding his voice during COVID and deciding to publishAmends, rebuilding trust, and honest conversations with his kids about their family historyKey TakeawaysSilence can be a survival strategy, and it can outlive its purpose. Learning to read a room, stay invisible, and stay quiet protected Rich as a child. But carrying that armor in