Why Love Alone Isn't Enough: Stan & Tracey Tatkin

<p>Free gift from Stan &amp; Tracey: get an excerpt of Stan's book In Each Other's Care, including the introduction and the full "Fighting Dos and Don'ts" chapter:<br /><a href="https://www.thepactinstitute.com/ieoc-giveaway" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.thepactinstitute.com/ieoc-giveaway</a></p><p>"If your driving guiding force in a relationship is love only, you're not going to make it." Dr. Stan Tatkin, the developer of PACT, and his wife Dr. Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, co-founder of the PACT Institute, say love is real, but it rises and falls like the weather. What holds a couple together under stress is something you design on purpose.</p><p>Courtney Wren-Mabbutt and Mike Elliott sit down with Stan and Tracey for an honest, funny and deeply practical conversation about secure functioning: a relationship built on shared purpose, clear agreements, fairness and quick repair. They explain why it's not him or her. All of us get difficult under stress, because a lightning-fast threat system takes over before we've chosen anything, and suddenly the person we love looks like the problem.</p><p>The invitation: decide together why you're here, plan for your hardest moments, and learn to catch the shift in each other before it runs the show.</p><p><strong>Chapters:</strong><br />0:00 Cold open<br />2:24 Welcome to The Sacred We<br />3:21 Welcome Stan and Tracey Tatkin<br />6:03 It's not him or her<br />11:43 Mentor couples and pro-relationship teams<br />15:37 Most couples never design their relationship<br />16:50 Secure functioning and one crazy at a time<br />18:32 Shared vision, agreements and purpose<br />23:11 Return to love<br />26:45 Protecting each other<br />30:07 The red wagon: attachment is survival<br />34:13 Know your partner's nervous system<br />37:38 Why love alone isn't enough<br />41:36 Pillow talk after 27 years<br />45:03 From island to clingy<br />54:37 Rituals and the touch-toes rule<br />58:02 Never fight in the car<br />1:00:40 The "it", the threat loop and catching the shift<br />1:09:51 Worth it, but hard<br />1:11:59 Their legacy and the Real Life Report Card</p><p><strong>Stan &amp; Tracey resources:</strong><br />Stan &amp; Tracey (official site):<br /><a href="https://www.stanandtraceytatkin.com/" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.stanandtraceytatkin.com/</a><br /><br />The PACT Institute:<br /><a href="https://www.thepactinstitute.com/" rel="ugc noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"